Aw Man...

Last night I fully intended to get all caught up on my homework. Unfortunately Brian's daughter decided to be a juvenile delinquent and make us call the police on her. She refused to take the UA her daddy bought her and didn't admit to doing anything wrong until the officer was at the house. Last night, she was crying and afraid that she was going to JDC. Today she is mouthy and mad at her parents. I don't get it. She is 13 years old. I would never have thought to do anything like this. I really wonder if NOW her mother won't allow dad to have full legal custody. He had to call her at the bar last night to let her know of all this. They didn't file a report in order to allow her to be in their care and custody, and then she gets lippy with them. I think I would call Officer Tony back and say, I renig, take her. Jess's parents are both angry with the girl that Jess smoked it with despite the fact we have a text message from this weekend when Jess was attempting to get pot from someone else. They are losing sight of the real issue. There will always be another dealer. That is not where the problem lies. This child needs help and so do the parents!! The question I have for her mother is just how messed up does her daughter have to get before she admits that maybe a mother actively pursuing her drinking problem may not be the best parent for that child?!!!! Another question for her mother is: how can you call Crime Stoppers from the bar when you are drunk!!??!!
Tough love works - sometimes. The thing that many parents worry about in turning their children over to JDC is that their kids will learn new tricks from the "bad" kids. Unfortunately rehabilitation is not the best if at all effective in those institutions. Rehab is not achieved at all in homes where the parents want nothing more than to be their children's friends.
This behavior was the final straw in my relationship with Brian. He couldn't parent and I couldn't live with his parenting. This is why I often go to my room to study when she is here. I can't bear to see daddy spoil and enable his daughter. I haven't said "I told you so" to him, but right now I am being a butt and saying it to all that read my online thoughts. I know it isn't very nice, but if you could see all the crap that I have had to deal with, you would've thrown him out in the cold long ago. I have had to pack all my valuables so they wouldn't get destroyed. We have had to replace several broken windows. I have purchased at least 4 phones since they have lived here - and not because of factory defects. My children have wanted to go to their dad's (and have) when the stress has been too much. When any one of them is angry - Brian, Jess, Laura - I am the instant scapegoat. I have had Brian's ex tell me that I couldn't use my own phone because she was talking to her daughter.
They have retaliated at each other through her and then when things get bad enough that they have to pull together for some reason, it must somehow be my fault. (Triangulation) I feel like I am already a counselor in training here. Honestly I would send him on his way. The reason I don't is purely financial. He and I are, at this point friends, too. Despite everything I care about him as a friend and his parents love me and I love them. They are great and have thanked me many times for the difference that I have made in their granddaughter (and son's) life. The child was a shrew when I met them. She was already destructive and no one would tell her "no". I have taught her manners and boundaries.

Since separating finances, I am no longer the enemy in that arena. Brian now eats lunch at home instead of having fast food and stopping at convenience stores. Imagine that! All the griping that I did and all the fights about how we couldn't afford stuff and NOW he realizes it! But now, there is a lot of fixing to do. With all the fixing and all the child support that he won't go in and change, he honestly cannot afford to live on his own - and pay me back at the same time. I figure I don't have the time for a romantic relationship anyway, so I plug away at school and stay out of his personal life as much as possible and raise my own children.

This has all been like Hurricane Katrina or a bad novel that never gets better. No happy ending. Frankly, I really don't want to see how the story ends. It has been that bad. I don't think that I will ever be having that nice adult to adult talk with Jess about "remember that time when you were caught smoking pot? I never thought that you would pull out of it and now look at the woman you've become. You really have your shit together." No, I just don't think that will happen. I don't want to see the end of this disaster.

Enough for tonight. I have purged the ick from my soul for now. Now I have to study and I don't have the police over here so I had better get going before the drama creeps up again...

I Don't Heart...

Ick, yuck, gross me out!! Mom, I know that you have said that hands are washable, but they are not boilable. One thing that disgusts me about living with these guys is their refusal to clean up after themselves. As a girl, I know I have much better aim, by bathroom protocol. However, who is the unlucky one with the weak stomach that ALWAYS has to clean the bathroom. For this, I deserve a metal, a barf bag and perhaps a stiff drink. I have scolded, I have threatened to go in there with them each time, I have threatened to ban them from the main bathroom, and I have held out until using the bathroom has gagged me, but nothing will work. I ask myself how these can even be my children???? I don't know what to do and will appreciate either a volunteer to install me my own bathroom or ideas on how to NOT be the next one to clean up the vile mess!

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I DREAD public restrooms. I have difficulty with odors and messes that I believe should produced in the privacy of their own bathrooms. I often have to use the restroom at work either holding my breath or with my shirt over my nose. Oh, and another of my greatest pet peeves is an empty public restroom where a person HAS to use the stall next to mine - and the even worse twist as of late - flatulate in such a manner, they sound like they should be flying around the room like a full untied balloon let go... Am I too sensitive, or is this just rude!!!

Okay, I have to quit thinking about this, or I will hurl!!!

No rest for the weary

Here is my little study buddy, Maggie. She is helping me with Cognitive Psyche. (We are snuggling with the wonderfully warm afghan that my talented mother made for me.) The only way I can get a photo of her is with Photo Booth. She hates the camera. She shies away and won't come near me when it is out. It doesn't seem to matter if I don't use the flash, either. Poor shy Maggie. She ought to be in pictures. Better ones at that!

I have been deep in study with both classes and although I have time to check blogs, I don't have too much time to add to mine or anyone else's.

My energy level is nil. I don't know if this is because of the weather, or the overwhelming sense of being so behind in other commitments. I still have Christmas gifts that need to be mailed, but I need to make my famous caramel corn to send with them. It really doesn't take that long, but starting it is the key.

I have no desire to make supper, breakfast, lunch, anything. I forced myself to clean the house a bit tonight. It still isn't where I would like it. I have clothes to take to the cleaners, clothes that need to be hand washed, shoes that need to be found in the attic (I packed them when we had the house up for sale), pictures that I need to get developed. I need to start on my paper and presentation for psyche - it needs to be a power point presentation. I have never done one of those before so that should be interesting.

I need to call my brother and see if he can come over and help with some networking issues, and take down the outside Christmas stuff.

I need to vent about "The Gift" that we keep hearing about before I retire for the evening. "The Gift" refers to Mr. Sanford's gift to Sioux Valley, the community, etc. I think it is really great that he did this. Really, he could have just bought a bunch of outlandish things or left more to his children. It is wonderful that he is investing this much money in research. Fine. However, since this announcement, Sioux Falls has been inundated with massive amounts of advertising from Sanford Health Systems. The last straw for me was yesterday. I opened the paper and there was a thick glossy card stock advertisement of "The Gift". WHY? I am sure that anyone receiving the paper is well aware of what is going on. Why spend all the money on the advertising for this gift. Why not include all the money for the promotional literature and prime time tv commercials in "The Gift". This gift is one that keeps on giving. If someone gave me a gift, would they expect me to go on and on about it publicly? Should I take a full page ad in the Argus and primetime spots on local t.v.? The press conference, I thought, was enough. Then changing the name to Sanford Health Systems...now the relentless advertising? When is it going to end?

Also of interest is the fact that apparently they didn't do any consulting before deciding on the design of the new campus. Apparently the dome that was planned would take a good chunk of "The Gift". Architects have stated that it would be possible, but any similar domes constructed in such a manner have cost hundreds of millions to billions to create. Also, the fact that Sioux Valley DOES NOT own all the property that they said that did to build the campus in such a manner. For one, they don't yet have the cities approval to take over streets. Hy-Vee on Minnesota Avenue tried for years to get ownership of the street between the store and the parking lot across the street. The city declined over and over again. For another, there are still homeowners that have not okay'd the takeover of their properties. There are still a couple of islands where the homeowners have put their foot down and refused. Another thing that wasn't taken care of prior to this announcement was the work that the city would have to do to accommodate "the gift". I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch - Mom always said not to - so what can you count on when all the dreams of Sioux Valley - er Sanford - and Mr. Sanford are at this point just that?

Comments anyone?

Awesome Eight Plex - Great Single Family Home

LINK FOR WEALTHY INVESTORS

This is one of the fabulous older homes on the market right now. It is an eight plex across from some of the most beautiful single family older homes in the city. It is close to downtown - which will soon be a bustling metropolis and cultural mecca for the area. If I were an investor, I would spend my ruples on converting this rental to the old majesty it was.

Psyche Topic

Sunday's Rose. Photo captured downtown Sioux Falls in late fall 2005.

For my paper in psyche this semester I think I will do time perception. We are currently studying memory, capacity, sensory store and attention. Right now I am fascinated by the perception of time. When you are young, time goes so slow. A day lasts forever. Especially a bad one. When you are busy, time goes especially fast. When you are having fun, there is no time - it is already gone, thus the cliche... I thought this would be a great topic for a blog.

When I rolled my car, I remember dirt and glass slowly flying at me. In that short amount of time, I could feel every speck of dirt and glass. Since I was rolling upside-down my perception of reality was really skewed, but it was slow. I remember the speedometer when I was on the ground and the helplessness after. The dirt and glass kept flying but there was no pain, no panic, no sound, just sight and feeling. Then when the car finally landed on its wheels again, I remember it taking a second to adjust and then trying to start the already running car and drive. When I got out, I started walking. I was walking into a cornfield.

I had the same kind of slo-mo experience once again going into the ditch with my lame date a few years ago on New Year's Eve. I was slowly going around like in the tilt-a-whirl, but incredibly slower. I am such a high strung person that I surprised myself with my calmness. "here I go again", I thought. Wee!! I was even thinking about how nice it was that I was able to maintain my straight posture throughout the whole thing. I also remember thinking that I was glad it was his vehicle not mine... (can you tell how much I liked this guy?) I was also thinking that I was done with this idiot. Well, that's all beside the point. The point is that I was very rational and calm and I thought a lot of stuff when we were spinning into the ditch.

What apparently happens is that all your attention is devoted to the one event. When you are busy or having fun you focus on different stimuli. The amount of stimuli is increased and time speeds by. When you are in a situation where you are alarmed, whether a car accident, a robbery, some dire situation, your attention is highly focused on all that is going on. When you have a bad day, I believe it probably is focused on the the minutia and time stands still.

So, my question to all my readers is: Have you had a time when time slowed down? A slo-mo situation...? What do you remember? At what point did time slow down and when did it go back to normal? What senses did you experience? Seeing, feeling, smelling, etc.?

Who stole the - who killed the electric car

Bandwidth theft? I was branded with a tsk, tsk, tsk theft sign. That is what I get for advertising for the environment. My apologies. Despite this, still see the movie. Unbelievable.

Crafty Gangstas~!

I couldn't believe this when I saw it. Apparently it is an international phenomenon!!! A bunch of knit-wits are needling their way past graffiti and joining a gang of folks that are making sweaters - or would I say 'sweatas' for stop signs, sewer pipes, rocks, and more. They are organized and the word is spreading. Check this out!!!!
And this

Tag you're it!

It is my turn to tag some folks to list their 6 things. I choose Bee, Mark, Eric - you can do 6 wierd things about Sioux Falls on yours if you wish, Trish, Earl and the Italian lurker.

Six Things About Me - Weird Ones

I have been tagged to write six weird things about me. Thank you, sis! I will try to think of six, and (however unlikely) if I fail to think of these on my own, I am sure that my father and my siblings can assist.

1. Animal/Child Magnetism -
I don't know why, but children and animals seem to be drawn to me. Babies catch my attention and smile, even if they are upset before they see me. I can't tell you how many dogs have come to the house, and cats. Lost ones, or runaways. Brian gets a kick out of it, because he loves dogs and all animals, but they tend to run from him. Birds, also. I sit on the porch and have birds communicate with me. Sounds, stupid, doesn't it? But last year I had a cardinal come onto the porch and spend a great deal of time with me. There was a wren in the back yard that struck up a conversation with me. Seriously, we took turns, it looked at me, chirped and paused. Then I spoke and it cocked its head as if trying to understand. When I stopped, it began its side and continued to use patterns of speech. The owls, too. They hang out in the tree and look at me and "dance". You would have to see it, but it is also a form of communication.
When little Olivia was 2 and barely talking, she came up to me while I was transplanting some flowers. She called me "Mom" and refused to continue the walk with her dad despite his calling her. She said so much gibberish and continued this way of speaking with me. She is the neighbor down the street and now still waves energetically at me when I see her. (She is the little girl on the Avera/McKennan commercials trying to pronounce the big words. Yes, she is that adorable!)
So, there is one: Animal/Child Magnetism

2. I Hide My Chocolate - I don't buy most of my chocolate. I also don't eat most of my chocolate. At work, one of their favorite recognition devices is chocolate. (My theory is that they intend to make our hips so big we can't get out of our chairs. So there we are, stuck and guess what, we have to work there. They would probably charge us rent, too) I have chocolate in two desk drawers at work, chocolate in my bedroom drawers, desk drawers, cabinets. Half the time I don't get to it before it spoils. My chocolate-eating goes in streaks. Sometimes my stomach just can't handle it. I will go months without it. But I put it away. I hate it when I DO finally want it and it is gone - one of the house ghosts, I'm sure!!



3. Diamonds aren't my best friend. I don't see what the big deal is with diamonds. I like rubies, sapphires, emeralds, but don't get the big draw for diamonds. I like jewelry with alot of gold, but diamonds I could do without. My favorite piece of jewelry is actually a long necklace, made with a thin piece of brushed leather, a few beads and the center is a silhouette of a tribal woman dancing.



4. I get easily grossed out. No, not by Linda Purl spewing pea soup at the priest... Public restrooms literally gag me!! When we flew to Arizona, I noticed how filthy the plastic parts of the plane were. It looks like children took their gooky fingers and spread their yuck all over it. This is gagging me even talking about it!!! When one of the kids hand me a piece of something to try with their hands, I decline. I almost hate eating in restaurants because of the filth I see. If you sit by a window, look at how filthy the window is. Think about the chair that you are touching. Who touched it before? Were their hands clean? Did they wash after using the rest room? Look at your silverware. Half the time their is a piece of food stuck to at least one piece of your silverware. Glasses are dirty. They have fingerprints from the dishwasher.
Part of this easy gross out is over thinking things. Really, I am sure that we eat so much more than we actually know about. If we don't know about it, we wouldn't be grossed out. Try this one: Odors are when particles of the odoriferous material reaches the inside of our noses. Okay, think about this. Or don't. I have a sensitive nose. I have been told that if a smell is bothering me, to breathe through my mouth. And have those particles in my mouth? No Way!!!

5. I am afraid of driving long distances by myself. I don't know if it is from rolling my car when I was 16 or what. Prior to that, I could drive and it was taken for granted. I just got in the car and drove. After the accident, I realized just how quickly things could happen and I was afraid. I guess I should have gotten "back on the horse" after my accident, but I didn't drive for quite awhile. I hadn't made the first payment, so had to pay the loan off before I could buy another one. My parents weren't too keen on the idea of me driving theirs, either. When I drive long distances I am afraid of blowing a tire, or hitting some unforeseen obstacle. After I was divorced, I tried to overcome this fear. I decided that the boys and I would take a trip out of town every weekend. The first weekend we went to Dell Rapids. (Laugh if you want, this was a big step for me!!) That was it. Outside of that, I think I drove to Sioux City by myself once. In the fall of 2005 I went to Mt Frontenac by myself. I will admit that this took some very loud books on tape to do. The way back didn't help with my feelings of being safe. I drove between tornado warnings almost all the way back. The only thing that kept me going was that if I kept going forward I was getting through it. If I stopped, it was easy to see that there was possibly something worse behind it. I didn't want to stop and put it off any longer than I had to. The stress was almost worse than what could've happened. I just wanted to go home.
Oh, I also believe that another reason that I have for being afraid of driving long distances is the fact that I have recurring dreams of driving off a cliff.


6. Last, but not least is my uncanny ability to fall asleep at theaters. The first time this happened was with Mike O. He was the cat's meow in those days. I was so excited to be going out with him. We went to the drive-in in his old candy-apple red pick up. I'm not that much into cars, but I think it looked like this (minus the clouds). Anyway, I woke up after the movie was over and apologized.

I felt so bad. Unbelievably, he asked me out again. Actually we went out for quite awhile. I saw him after I moved to Sioux Falls. I don't know where I saw him, but I think I was engaged at the time and he was moving down to Phoenix soon to complete school. One of m y most romantic moments in my teenage years was spent with him. I still have his awards from his graduation. He told me to hang onto them and I kept reminding him and he said he would get them later. I should send them to him. He may have children now and this may be important to him...
Anyway, this also happened on several other dates. I kept getting asked out afterwards. The most recent movies I have slept through were Star Wars Episode 2, Harry Potter and the Ghost - oh that one about the lions! I must have started my nap before the title! These are action-packed movies. I think it must be sitting without moving for too long. At home I am a multi-tasker and something of an insomniac, so I don't sit for a movie and probably don't get enough sleep. Thus motionless sitting is almost a sure bet for a nap.

Sioux Valley to Expand With Multi-Million Dollar Donation

Sioux Valley. I think you now win the McKennan/Sioux Valley Health System War. This new donation being announce at 1:00 pm today not only allows you to shadow McKennan, but also to shadow the city. According to the Argus Leader, Sioux Valley is receiving a multi-million dollar donation (100s of millions) to expand its current facilities to research children's diseases. They will be recruiting doctors nation and perhaps world-wide. They will be opening other clinics in other cities that will funnel research into the Sioux Falls conglomerate.

So, let's start at the center and work our way out with questions and assumptions:

Obviously Sioux Valley has been a poor landlord for good reason. Rental housing is not their main forte, but Sioux Valley is one of the major landlords in the area surrounding the hospitals. They aren't too concerned about what their renters are doing, including the sale of their own pharmaceutical wares. So, I expect that this new expanding status has several implications in that area. I am guessing that the homes that they are currently renting will be bull-dozed and additional property in the area purchased and bull-dozed as well to expand the hospital and provide research facilities. Either the entrepreneurs in those properties will move into my neighborhood or take root in the north or east side of town. Perhaps Sioux Valley will become more caring about the neighborhood and participate in the upkeep and prevention efforts...NAH!!! They are pretty inaccessible and will probably just build high walls to keep the crime out.

Okay, what will a 'major' health facility require? Since we are starting at the center, we will look at parking. (More land consumption) Not only will it need parking, but pedestrian access as well. (More land consumption) When you have a loved one in a major hospital, you will need a hotel room. Preferably one close by. (More land consumption) You will probably also be eating at a restaurant. Also preferably close by. If you are a physician visiting the facility you will need these things, but on a higher end.

With all the new jobs created and all the traffic headed to this area, you will need transportation access. Okay Sioux Falls, I think this means you need to play your eminent domain card on the Minnehaha Country Club or the Westward Ho Country Club or both. Hmm...that's messing with the old money of the city and the current physicians as well. The golf course is so close and so easy to catch a game after working long hours at the hospital. Hmm... what will be done? You see, the major dam in the logistics of the city of Sioux Falls is the fact that the closest access to Sioux Valley from the west is either 12th street to the north or 41st street to the south. Count the blocks...When an ambulance is bringing in a critical patient from the west side via ambulance, they have to come from either way. A huge solution to this problem is using 26th, 22nd or 18th street to go straight through to I-29. The city has shied away from doing this and the Country Clubs have dug their heels in, stating that this would destroy the wildlife preserve on their property near the river. (How many wildlife preserves do you know are directionally mowed?)
That would be the obvious solution that Sioux Falls has yet to take on. Let's look at the more difficult solution. That would be expanding both Kiwanis and Minnesota Avenues from at least 12th to 41st. In that case, we could probably eliminate the houses between Spring and Duluth, or some within that area and all of those on the east side of Kiwanis. Also possible, expanding Grange and eliminating the homes on both sides of that street. Well, I am not a city planner, but so far the city has avoided the obvious in taking the country club land. This has resulted in nightmarish traffic on both 41st and 12th and the undertaking of multi-million dollar expansion projects on both streets and they are still both bottlenecked and gridlocked.

I think the Dunhams must have known about all of this. I couldn't understand why they would build the Towers, but now I know. So many of those condos are still vacant. They are the most luxurious condos in the city with prices starting at over $200,000 for a 1 br 1 ba place. That kind of place doesn't draw your average South Dakotan. Perhaps a single professional, but most consider that status temporary. We are a large city, but still not all that urban-minded.

This brings to mind other changes in the city. We will probably have an influx of diversity in educated professionals. This means a more educated population. This could also mean renovation of homes in this area for urban professionals who wish to be close to work so they can walk, ride a bike or arrive quickly. This could be good.

Who knows? I will probably continue mulling over the subject for awhile. I had to vent my questions, concerns and assumptions. Thanks for listening. I invite all response, commentary and speculation. Mull it over and tell me what you think...